Ectopic Pregnancy Experience. By Karen Chavez

On May 28^th of this year I found out I was pregnant. It completely took me by surprise for many reasons, but mostly because I had been using Mirena, an intrauterine device which is a form of long term birth control said to be 99% effective.  I immediate made an appointment with my doctor and a few days and blood tests later the pregnancy was confirmed. However, when a sonogram was done to remove the IUD, the pregnancy was missing from my uterus. I was immediately diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy and after a few more tests, it was found in my left fallopian tube. 

An ectopic pregnancy is extremely dangerous and cannot grow, therefore it must be terminated. The most common way to treat an ectopic pregnancy is with a drug called Methotrexate. I was immediately injected with this powerful drug and then the roller coaster ride began for my life. The doctor told me that because of the size of the pregnancy I was at risk of it rupturing, and this could cause very negative side effects in my body and even lead to death.   Can you imagine how I felt? My emotions were a mess, from surprise, to joy, to confusion, and to uncertainty, I was a total wreck. I could remember all of God’s promises in His Word, but I was uncertain if they would come true in my life. On June 4^th I was put on bed rest and this began a journey that would change me inside and out.

For the entire month of June I struggled with physical pain, emotional anguish, and spiritual anger. But through it all God was always there. Physically, it felt as if I was going into labor almost every single day. I had contractions so strong that I would have to stop everything I was doing and throw myself on the bed and try to contain the pain. Sometimes the pain I felt was so bad, I would scream and cry. I don’t wish the side effects of Methotrexate on anybody!  Because of these horrible side effects, I couldn’t drive, work, or go anywhere. I was like a prisoner in my own home. It wasn’t much fun. 

Through my health struggle, I was reading books on spiritual formation and spiritual disciplines. These books along with the Bible were speaking to my life every single day.  I began to understand that God was in control of my situation and through it my life would be radically changed. One of the things the books taught me was to be in silence and solitude with God. This is something that I could never do before because I never had time to do it, or so I thought. Now, in bed, without a place to go and without “things” to do, God had taken me to a quiet “place” to teach me how to be in silence and solitude in His presence and listen to His voice. 

Unfortunately on June 25^th, regardless of all the efforts, the pregnancy burst in my left fallopian tube causing it to rupture and brought along internal bleeding. I was home when it happened. I felt sick and headed to the ER. I passed out while at the ER and the doctors panicked. They performed various tests which confirmed that the pregnancy had burst and my life was in danger. I was rushed to the operating room but before entering, I was allowed to be with my family for a few minutes, so we prayed. Everyone was very scared, as if it was my last day on earth. When the nurses were taking me into the operating room I began to think about the Lord. I didn’t know what to say, or how to pray, I was scared. 

I was lying down on the stretcher, looking up at the ceiling and the only words that came to mind were the words of Psalm 23. I know the Psalm by heart, but never did it mean so much than on that evening. I prayed Psalm 23 from the depths of my soul and hoped that God would hear every word.

The Lord is my shepherd;

I shall not want.

He makes me to lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside the still waters.

He restores my soul;

He leads me in the paths of righteousness

For His name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil;

For You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You anoint my head with oil;

My cup runs over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

All the days of my life;

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord

Forever.

The doctors gave their final explanations before putting me to sleep and I said in my heart “Lord, I don’t know if I will wake up from surgery, but I do know that I am in your hands”. I closed my eyes and all I can see were images of my three boys. Their little faces were smiling back at me. Then they became a blur as the images started to fade away. 

During surgery they found that I had a lot of internal bleeding. My left tube was removed because it was completely damaged. I lost a lot of blood so they had to give me two blood transfusions. For a moment I was in critical condition, so my family just prayed. I came out of the operating room, swollen, pale, and extremely exhausted. I was under 24 hour supervision by the head nurse and my family took turns to be by my side. When I was finally sent home, I still felt awful, but thankfully I was finally in stable condition. 

For the next couple weeks I was in complete bed rest. I couldn’t walk, and could hardly get out of bed to go to the bathroom. It was difficult. The pain was different now. My body was different. I actually looked as if I had gone through labor and had a baby. I was blessed to have people help me with the cleaning and cooking.  God was faithful. My family was thankful to the Lord that He had preserved my life.

After a month of recuperating, I visited my doctor who gave me the clearance to slowly begin doing the things I hadn’t done for two months. My body felt sluggish and weak. I still had pain around the incisions and inside. Yet my mind and heart felt stronger and healthier than ever before. God had used this moment in time to quiet me down in order to strengthen my spirit, to begin a spiritual formation in my life that would transform me and everything around me.  God was teaching me discipline. I’m not talking punishment; I am talking about training myself to do something in a habitual way, not for the sake of rituals but for the daily enjoyment of God’s presence. One of the definitions that the Merriam-Webster dictionary provides for Discipline is “training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character”.  This is what happened to me! I began to live a new lifestyle, one that pleases God. My life was taking on the shape God wanted it to be. The spiritual formation I was studying in those books was taking effect in my life. I was the clay in the Potter’s hands. 

You see, to be spiritually disciplined is not an option is a necessity in order to spiritually survive. Without these important disciplines we cannot grow and will not know God as intimately as we should. As a Christian, and especially as ministers of God’s Word, we need to be spiritually disciplined. “It is the Holy Spirit’s job to keep the inner process of revelation underway. But in order for the Spirit to do his job, we need to cooperate and put ourselves in a place to deeply and reflectively listen.” (Calhoun 109). Praying, fasting, Bible reading, studying, solitude, and silence are some of the disciplines that will help us to find that place where we will find God and hear his voice guiding our steps.

Please understand me. I already practiced prayer, fasting, and all these things. But I lacked discipline in these things and order in my life. This health trial brought death to my old self; death to some earthly things that were ruling my life without me noticing. And although it took longer than 3 days for me to come back to life, or to come out of the belly of the whale, I eventually did. God has molded me into someone new. Suddenly quality time with my family began to matter most, my spiritual disciplines became the priority of my day, church stop being all about me being fed and it became an opportunity to share the Gospel with the lost, and the Chaplaincy ministry stopped being all about paperwork and office tasks and it truly became a mission field for me.  I knew all these things, and how it was supposed to be, but life can easily take you on another route and give you enough work to keep you busy and forget the important things in life, the essentials.

This month I went back to work and to my daily tasks and I have to say that being spiritual disciplined is not easy. It is a decision and a promise you make to yourself and that you must keep. Having achieved that, makes prioritizing your values a piece of cake. In other words, when we put God first and seek His kingdom, everything else falls into place (Matthew 6:33). 

My sister, I encourage you to examine yourself and see how your values line up. Is God everything in your life?(Matthew 22:37).  Is ministry or work taking the place of your family? (Mark 8:36).  Are you seeking God the way He is asking you to? (Jeremiah 29:13). Don’t wait for the “big fish” to swallow you, begin to obey that still small voice, the quiet whisper that speaks to your heart and respond to it by saying “Speak, for your servant is listening.” (1 Samuel 3:10).